Talisman Moment #2

Well, Meredith was asking for a new Talisman Moment, so I thought I'd share one with you.

Recently the golf course workers have been issued new uniforms. Our old uniforms were a golf shirt and quick dry pants. I like this uniform, and I actually wear the pants on camping trips all the time because they're great pants.

Well, the new uniform is a set of coveralls. No offense to those of you who routinely wear coverals, but we have taken to calling them 'fag bags'. I realize that this isn't exactly PC, but it does rhyme.

There are some good things about coveralls and some bad things:

Good things:

- You don't get your clothes dirty

- You can be naked underneath

Bad things:

- You can be naked underneath

- My boss goes naked underneath - and has proven this

- All the heat from your body comes up throught the neck hole

- All the stink from your body comes up throught the neck hole

- Every time you fart . . . well, you can see where I'm going with this

- They don't show off my fabulous ass

- You can never get them to fit right

This last reason is where my next Talisman Moment comes into play. It seems that a there were no XL sizes available so I was forced to wear a large for a while. The girth wasn't a problem, but because it is a one piece the height was an issue (I'm 6'3"). The length from the inseam to the shoulder was too short so it seems that every time I stretched, the inseam pulled right up and revealed what some people refer to as a "Moose knuckle"; this is the male equivalent of the "Camel toe".

Well, it didn't take me long to realize this and within hours at least a dozen people at work saw way more of me than they had ever hoped to see.

This has been a Talisman moment.

A Talisman Moment

This post will be the first in a series of 'Talisman Moments'

For those of you who don't know, I work at Talisman Mountain Resort. The Mountain part is a bit of a misnomer because it's really a valley, which may give you a little insight what this place is like from the get-go. A lot of things happen at work that we call 'Talisman Moments'.

Usually these are things that make you scratch your head and say "Why the hell would they do that?"
Usually these things also involve something going wrong that has to be fixed. Usually the ones that have to fix it are the outside maintenance department or the golf course workers, of which I am one.

Recently it was decided that one of the decorative ponds around the hotel should be stocked with Koi. This sounded like a great idea to the people that came up with it. What they failed to realize was that about 5 years ago someone else had the brilliant idea to stock the same pond with rainbow trout.

These particular trout have been living in the same small pond now for the last five years and have grown to monstrous proportions and are quite territorial. They've been know to attack people. All but two of them survive now, but our theory is that they ate the other ones and absorbed all their powers. We were waiting for one of the remaining trout to finish off the other one and become all powerful.

It looks like that is unlikely to happen for a while now though because the two remaining trout have recently gorged themselves on about $500 worth of hapless Koi.

Ciao for Niao
Junk