'The cars on the freeway are moving like slugs'
Living in Toronto four days a week, I am periodically stuck in traffic. Over time I have come up with various things to keep me occupied while I'm waiting for traffic to start moving again. Here they are in no particular order:
1) Stare at the person beside you, then quickly look away. Do this repeatedly.
2) Get out of you car and pretend to urinate in the gas tank - have a sticker that says 'urine powered vehicle'.
3) Make the 'roll down the window' motion to the person beside you. When they roll down the window look like you're about to say something, then make the 'who farted?' face and quickly roll the window back up.
4) Purposely stall you car then get out and go all Benny Hinn on it, and hit it with your jacket , then have your passenger discretely fire it up again.
5) When your car isn't moving look really anxious to get going - try to lean forward and look really stressed; then when traffic starts moving, look indifferent and don't go until people start honking.
6) Pick your nose.
7) Crank up the baseball game and start headbanging to the commentary.
8) Periodically put your car in reverse.
9) For a challenge, see if you can get your car sideways in your lane. For slightly less of a challenge, try the same thing in a smart car.
10) Pick your nose again.
Well, those are the ones I have come up with. I would be curious to hear other people's ideas. Especially Chuck, as he spends much of his day in traffic. Hmmmmm . . .
posted by Junk in the Trunk at 11:11 PM
4 Comments:
Joel, your list has a distinct masculine point of view. How about some ideas for the ladies?
Such as...
1) Keep adjusting the rear view mirror to check out your lipstick, rouge, false eyelashes or whatever so that you won't notice when the traffic starts moving again.
2) Wiggle in your seat as if something your wearing is uncomfortable and needs some adjusting. (This is particularly effective if the vehicle beside you is a semi. Better view inside)
3) Instead of head bobbing, try touching each ear alternatively on your shoulders. aka the famous blonde manouver when she says..."I don't know but there must be a reason"
4) Smile coyly at the guy in the car beside you and wave with only two fingers (make sure its two and not one). Time this so that when he finally notices your supposed come on, the traffic clears and you leave him behind open mouthed.
Hmmmm.... this picture has given me scary flash-backs of my Hamilton-Toronto commute from a few years back. I found repeatedly banging my head into the steering wheel helped relieve the nauseous tedium of the whole experience. I have also vowed NEVER to put myself through commuting that far ever again.
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Guy, that's hilarious stuff! Nice.
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