Would I be happier with a bigger TV . . . Yes I would
I realize it's been a little while since my last post, but here's the thing - I've been at my parents place since Friday and they only have dial-up - SLOW. I remember when we got our first 2400 baud modem. This was before most people had heard of the internet. In fact, the internet as we know it today didn't even really exist, if you wanted to check out a particular BBS (bulletin Board system - kind of like a website), you had to dial it's telephone number. Also, there wasn't really anything worth checking out anyways. But, I digress, the point of this entry it to explain how I would be happier with a bigger TV.
- First of all, I don't even have a TV in my apartment in T.O., so I think that in order to maximize my TV intake I need a bigger one at my parents place. Somehow I feel this will make up for not watching TV Monday through Thursday. The larger the surface area of the screen, the more of that wonderful radiation will penetrate ( ha - penetrate) my eyeballs. By the way, this is the only thing I want to penetrate my eyeballs. I'm looking at you Chuck - next time you come over, leave the shank at home.
- Second, I like my TV loud*. There are some people out there that might argue that the size of the screen has nothing to do with the volume of the Television. Those people would be wrong.
- Thirdly, it has been scientifically proven** that for every inch you are away from the screen, it needs to be one inch bigger, or a 1:1 ratio. This is known as the golden ratio. Once again I'm sure that there are people that will argue with me. I'm sure that some prima-donna mathematicians will try to tell me that the golden ratio is closer to 1:1.61803398874989484820458683436563811772 . . .
These people are just trying to show off.
- Fourthtasticaly, for legal reasons I feel it is important to be able to read the legal line at the bottom of car commercials clearly. If I'm out on a test drive in a Mazda 6, I want to know if I can do that thing where they drive sideways across the desert kicking up a lot of dust without fear of reprisal. On a larger TV it would be easier to read that line.
- Fifth. The larger the TV, the more friends you will have. For every square inch of screen area, you will gain one more friend. This is known as the golden ratio.
- Sixth (I love saying sixth) My power consumption is too low. I'm not sure how many mega-watts I use in a year, but If I had a bigger TV, I wouldn't need to know. I'd need to know how many tera-watts I used, and isn't that really the measure of a man?
- Seventh (not as fun to say) I'm pretty sure that most big TVs have an aspect ratio of 16:9. This is known as the golden ratio. The bigger my screen is, the more of that sweet, sweet golden ratio will be in my room. I'm sure this will have a positive effect on my well being.
- Lastly (some would say finally - in an exasperated tone) I think big TVs are cool
Let the shallowness of this web log (don't click if you have a weak stomach) forever haunt your dreams
*"I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaaaaming!" - Homer J. Simpson ep. 4F11
**This has not been scientifically proven
- First of all, I don't even have a TV in my apartment in T.O., so I think that in order to maximize my TV intake I need a bigger one at my parents place. Somehow I feel this will make up for not watching TV Monday through Thursday. The larger the surface area of the screen, the more of that wonderful radiation will penetrate ( ha - penetrate) my eyeballs. By the way, this is the only thing I want to penetrate my eyeballs. I'm looking at you Chuck - next time you come over, leave the shank at home.
- Second, I like my TV loud*. There are some people out there that might argue that the size of the screen has nothing to do with the volume of the Television. Those people would be wrong.
- Thirdly, it has been scientifically proven** that for every inch you are away from the screen, it needs to be one inch bigger, or a 1:1 ratio. This is known as the golden ratio. Once again I'm sure that there are people that will argue with me. I'm sure that some prima-donna mathematicians will try to tell me that the golden ratio is closer to 1:1.61803398874989484820458683436563811772 . . .
These people are just trying to show off.
- Fourthtasticaly, for legal reasons I feel it is important to be able to read the legal line at the bottom of car commercials clearly. If I'm out on a test drive in a Mazda 6, I want to know if I can do that thing where they drive sideways across the desert kicking up a lot of dust without fear of reprisal. On a larger TV it would be easier to read that line.
- Fifth. The larger the TV, the more friends you will have. For every square inch of screen area, you will gain one more friend. This is known as the golden ratio.
- Sixth (I love saying sixth) My power consumption is too low. I'm not sure how many mega-watts I use in a year, but If I had a bigger TV, I wouldn't need to know. I'd need to know how many tera-watts I used, and isn't that really the measure of a man?
- Seventh (not as fun to say) I'm pretty sure that most big TVs have an aspect ratio of 16:9. This is known as the golden ratio. The bigger my screen is, the more of that sweet, sweet golden ratio will be in my room. I'm sure this will have a positive effect on my well being.
- Lastly (some would say finally - in an exasperated tone) I think big TVs are cool
Let the shallowness of this web log (don't click if you have a weak stomach) forever haunt your dreams
*"I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals flaaaaming!" - Homer J. Simpson ep. 4F11
**This has not been scientifically proven
posted by Junk in the Trunk at 10:12 PM
3 Comments:
AAAHHH, dial up?! Does that still exist?!
You and Gregg would get along well - he decided we needed a gargantuan television. Yeah. It takes up the whole fucking living room. But I must admit, it is nice to watch movies on...it...movies on it...nice to watch...AAHHHHH, dial up?!
Unfortunately, I'm a dial-upper. That's what happens when you live in the middle of nowhere and it's your only gosh darn option.
I really enjoyed your insight on the "golden ratio" in it's many forms...and a good Homer J. Simpson quote really is the key element to bringing home your point.
Hey.....
I like big screens tooo...
BUT You don't have room in your cubicle for a bigger screeeeen.
Let's see
Couch, double bed, desk, computer, an infinite number of stringed musical instruments
and....
countless gum wrappers, empty glasses etc etc etc.
From someone who knows.......
(Not CSIS or the CIA)
Post a Comment
<< Home