The machines are taking over! Or are they . . . yes they are.
So, I was at Sherway Gardens today. For those of you who aren't from Toronto, Sherway is probably one of the classiest malls in the country. They have leather club chairs where most malls have those wooden benches, or worse. Anyway, I went to the food court and got some Arby's* (They may be classy, but not too classy to have an Arby's), which was good. All through my meal I kept hearing this intermittent mechanical hum, I wasn't quite sure what it was. When I was finished eating I put my garbage in the garbage can. Then the garbage can starts talking to me - "Thank you for shopping at Sherway Gardens" or something like that, I don't remember exactly what it said because I was still in shock. After I threw out my food, the garbage can made a sort of whirring sound. I can only assume it was compacting the garbage. The automatic compacting garbage can seems like a good idea, but does it have to talk to me. I was with my buddy Chuck at the time, and he happened to be using an adjacent garbage can. I looked over at him and he had the same look of awe/disgust on his face that I can only assume I had. Is this what the world has come to? Talking garbage cans? Throwing out garbage is one of those tasks that you just want to do quickly and get it over with. You don't want some machine thanking you for using it. It's kind of like when guys use a public** washroom, it's all business - no talking, just get in, take care of business, and get out. If anyone talks to you, you almost feel violated. That's how I felt when the garbage can talked to me, violated. It was almost like getting my personal space raped. I don't know if anyone else out there has experienced this kind of thing, but if you have I'm sure you can relate. And if you happen to be shopping at Sherway, check out the talking garbage cans***, but be warned - You will be violated, and not in a good way.
I'm going to go take a few showers now because I still feel dirty
Junk
*kudos if you get this reference
**this is almost as wrong as this
***I don't want any comments about how R2-D2 doesn't actually talk, just accept the joke for what it is
By the way, I always wanted to know how to tie a bow tie - now my blog is educational!
posted by Junk in the Trunk at 1:32 PM
8 Comments:
I have a real bowtie. Why? you ask instead of a clip-on... because when all is said and doen it's cooler to untie it at the end of the night and let it hang untied around your neck and look all Frank Sinatra.
I know exactly what you mean. I was in a wedding in October - the tuxes had clip on-ish ties, not bow ties, but still kind of like a clip on. I tried to do the thing where wou undo it and let it hang untied, but it just didn't work like I was hoping. I ended up just taking of the tie completely. Fortunately the rest of the tux was super cool, so I could still pull of the look I was going for.
Talking garbage cans?! WTF?! Obviously Sherway is for suckers. I'm actually a little disappointed in you for shopping there. But then, you ARE a bowtie master. And I guess I don't "pass the cool kid test" because I don't get the Arby's link to P.W. reference at ALL. What was that?
You will recieve them in the mail in 4 to 6 weeks.
Joel, I know that deep down you wanted to incorporate Star Wars just for me...no matter what the cost. Thank you.
So...who else likes pie?
Seriously...that's like the only good thing about Christmas. The multitude of pies.
Either you're jaded, or you really like pie!
Or maybe you're being more sarcastic like I requested
LOL, or maybe I'm trying to get a separate comment conversation going because you're not posting anything.
I mean, think about it. Like, a message center on your blog that's a separate entity!
But, I mean, eventually it would take over and, well, that would be sad.
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